It’s old news, the whole Gary Glitter the Pedo thing. Arrested how many times for buggery? Twice? Thrice?


Still – it’s fun to watch him. I wish all pedos looked like Mr Glitter, so we could find them easier…”Ye shall know them by their eyebrows” sayeth the Lord:


Anyway – I was hunting down the name of one of his tracks which is always played at sports events, because every time some sports arena blasts the song over the PA the bastard gets royalties. And it pisses me off. And I just felt like raising awareness so you can be pissed off too. But (of course) the first result was a video clip – which, besides being utterly, jaw-droppingly, godawful-brilliant, reminded me of something my own El Pedo said during his trial.


You see – I was the first complainant – which meant that their defense was all aimed at me and my credibility. I’ll talk more about this another time, of course, but the gist of their defense was that yes, we had had a sexual relationship, it occurred after I was of legal age for such things, and he broke it off with me, leading me to bring the charges as a spiteful, vengeful, jilted lover. AND (I’m getting to my point here) one of the fun wee stories about our torrid affair was that I would dance for him like a stripper, and he would tuck money into the waistband of my undies as I seduced him. Now just imagine my family – my Dad! – sitting there in the court having to listen to him saying that. (I was mercifully kept away from the court after my first two days under cross-examination).


I’m sure my wife, and any of my former girlfriends, would attest to the fact that while I MAY have occasionally danced around pretending to be a stripper, it was not, could not, will never be, a form of seduction. Perhaps I will video myself dancing as a stripper and post it here one day so we can all share a good laugh. An hysterical, eyes-covered-in-shock, this-is-the-dance-equivalent-of-a-tone-deaf-bassett-hound-singing-Unchained-Melody-in-the-shower kind of laugh…




But… watching Mr Glitter dance to the Rock & Roll, thinking of El Pedo and his wee Jonno the Private Dancer, Dancer For Money fantasy, I asked myself: when pedos imagine dancing, in their minds do people ever look as awesome as this?: